new genres, old feelings.
i never really used to like country music. i always thought it was twangy and unsophisticated.
that was, of course, until i had my heart broken, saw things first-hand that tested my faith in humanity, and developed a high tolerance for alcohol. that might be a fucked up way to learn to appreciate a previously foreign genre of music, but it almost makes sense for me and country.
it’s definitely a kind of music that tends to focus on the intense, sad, and prone to heartbreak: also known as the story of my overly romanticized childhood and adventures. it’s easy to see how i could, a few years and mistakes later, be able to identify with the soundtrack of the downtrodden American Romeo Montague, had he lived past adolescence (i had to look up his last name).
i think it’s partly because i worry an inordinate amount about things i initially want to control, but know i can’t, or at least shouldn’t. it’s important to not be in control of your future, or you’ll never get what you really want. i truly believe that. but do i act on it: HELL NO. if it sounds even close to logical, you bet your sweet ass i’ve decided it would damage me beyond repair.
the funny but fucked up thing about that is that i know that i’m beyond any outside attempts at repair. nothing beyond what i can do for myself will do any real good.
pour another glass of jack daniels, turn up the speakers for that country soul.
